Thrown off the Orient Express

I'm back again from the wild East... only this time my world tour landed me on the shores of Japan. This was a resurrection of the trip I had planned to Japan last May that got nixed due to scheduling difficulties. Thankfully, things worked out and like the Cap'n we were able to make the trip happ'n in 2007.

In any event, I'm back at work now and I've had about 7 hours of sleep in the last 70+ hours including a final night out in Tokyo, a 6 hour wait at Narita airport, 13 hour flight, a 7 hour layover/delay in Dulles (which makes the number of times I've been delayed an hour or more flying out of Dulles a perfect 5 for 5 lifetime trips), and a 2 hour flight to LaGuardia including ground delays. I got to bed around 3am last night and because I'm still on Tokyo time, I snapped awake at 6am. I've been at the office since 7:45am.

Aside from the sleep depravation the trip to Japan was phenomenal. We spent 4 days in Tokyo visiting the national sights and partying in the Roppongi & Kabukicho, before heading up into the mountains to the small city of Takayama, then on to Osaka for some more crazy nights, then next to Kyoto for 3 days of biking and temple/shrine sightseeing, and finally another 4 days back in Tokyo doing theme parks and arcades.

Some important trip statistics:
- Total number of days in Japan: 15
- Total hours of sleep relative to total hours prior to and just after the trip: 8 of 124
- Average % of Japanese girls with dyed brownish-red hair: 35%
- Average % of Japanese girls wearing knee-high black socks: 50%
- Average number of rice/noodle bowls consumed per day: 1.2
- Total pieces of raw fish consumed: 14
- Total hamburgers consumed: 8
- Total bottles of sake consumed: 6
- Total bottles of alcohol brought back to the U.S.: 8
- Approximate hours spent browsing video games, manga, anime, and porn (all typically in 1 store): 11
- Number of nights spent in a "coffin" hotel: 1
- Number of times I shaved: 3
- Ice cream cones eaten: 9
- Number of times I lost my umbrella: 5
- Number of times I broke my umbrella in half: 1
- Number of times Japanese school girls asked for a picture: 3
- Approximate total of beers consumed from vending machines: 14
- Times I rode the Thunder Dolphin: 1
- Times I wanted to groin-punch Jon for making me ride the Thunder Dolphin: 15,000
- Times the phrase, "in Japan, everything is a-smaller" was used in public: > 20
- Hours into the trip before Jon has his first (accidental) beer: 3
- Number of Mexican restaurants eaten at: 3
- Glasses of Suntory whiskey consumed at the Park Hyatt while saying, "for relaxing times, make it Suntory time": 2
- Total bill for Suntory whiskey at the Park Hyatt: $36
- Average number of times Borat voice used per day: 4.5
- Times propositioned by Nigerian Men for strip clubs: 7
- Times propositioned for "massage-y": 5
- Average times per day I inappropriately used the word "arigato": 3.5
- Number of times I intentionally inappropriately used the word "oishii" (delicious): ~13
- Average miles walked per day: 15-20
- Number of blisters: 5
- Percentage of subway cars/trains where at least one advertisement was made fun of: 95%
- Percentage of times a public trashcan was nearby when we needed it: < 10%
- Percentage of times a vending machine was nearby when we needed it: 100%
- Number of vending machines that accept 1 or 5 yen coins: 0
- Number of times Wendy's was eaten at within 24 hours: 3
- Total Tomago Double Mac's (burger, egg, bacon, cheese) consumed by both of us: 3
- Number of times I hit my head on low hanging beams: > 10
- Total number of kimonos worn: 6

As I'm sure those statistics indicate, the trip was a resounding success. In the coming week or two I will post some pictures of interesting/bizarre stuff from the trip with explanations. Unlike the past 2 months where I was working 70 hour weeks, the next couple of weeks shouldn't be nearly as bad. Nippon Q Queue, out.