Beauty and the Pimp

This weekend my mom and sis came up from Greensboro and met me in LaGuardia on my way back from Columbus. So as you can imagine after a week of 15+ hour work days and a weekend of entertaining I am quite exhausted. The good news is tonight I should get my first good night of sleep since moving to Manhattan as a result of a minor theft of a Millennium Hilton bath towel...

Allow me to explain. I live on the 16th floor of a building with 40 or so floors. All the rooms have window air conditioner units, and leaky ones at that. So whenever it rains or an A/C above me leaks, the drips come flying down at 9.8 meters/second and collide with the top of my metal air conditioning unit. This makes for a most unpleasant sound and can often result in headaches, migraines, loss of sleep, headaches, confusion or both. So I "permanently borrowed" a bath towel that I soaked and draped over the A/C to absorb the impact of the drips of water. Tonight we shall see how well my invention works.

But I digress. The weekend overall was pretty productive and I feel I gave them a pretty comprehensive tour of NYC for a 48 hr visit. Some of the highlights included Grimaldi's pizza, Junior's cheesecake, the Promenade, Central Park/Belvedere Castle, Chinese Donuts, WTC/WFC, Maloney & Porcelli's, Chinatown/Little Italy & a Broadway show. Which Broadway show you ask? The long running Beauty & the Beast of course.

However once the curtain rose I almost immediately noticed that something was amiss. Besides the usual tattered clothes and cape, the Beast character was sporting an enormous iced-out pimp chain around his oversized neck. And when I say pimp chain I mean PIMP chain to put the likes of Nelly to shame. Quite bluntly, this was no Mr. T starter kit. When the spotlights hit this bad boy it literally blinged up the entire theater with its undeniable pimpitude.

I would love to meet the costume production genius why decided that the accessory to really pull together the "beast ensemble" and achieve that look of years of anguish, despair and neglect was a 90 karat platinum iced pimp chain. Brilliant.

If only they allowed pictures I could show you dear reader(s) of what I speak. For the rest of the production I expected him to come out and say to Lumiere and Cogsworth, "settle down my babies, don't trip over this hoe. Don't you have no fear cuz I done pimped" and then hop in a lime green low-rider Cadillac and drive around beating up hookers with his cane. Now that's what I call a Tony winning script.

Tomorrow morning I am back in Columbus. Don't expect many blogs because they intentionally cap their outgoing internet bandwith at like 28k to keep employees from surfing the net. They also block access to any web-based email clients. And there are only like 4 cell towers in the entire city. Columbus: the blackhole of mass communications. or... Columbus: the epicenter of ass communications.