I'm an Old Fucker

When I hit 21 I was ecstatic. Such a milestone in American culture (despite the fact that I had been drinking for years). Then last year I rolled into 22... still not too bad, only one year removed from 21...

As of today (yesterday) I hit that devastating 23 mark. Two years removed from my mid 20's... man I might as well pull the trigger and end it now, the good times are over, haha. It was an interesting birthday. Certainly better than recent years and a goddamn sight better than the February of 2003.

But... very weird. Friday I spend the afternoon (aside from getting pulled over) eating at a Japanese steakhouse with my mom. Then we went bowling?!? Yes.... and what's even more hilarious than that...

I busted my motherfuckin ass on the first throw of the day. I wish I had it on video because even I would be laughing at this one. I went up for my first throw and as I got right up the foul line there was something sticky on the floor and my right foot came to an abrupt stop. So I hurl the ball down the lane with one hand and try and step with my left foot to regain my balance. The only problem was that I my momentum was carrying me past the foul line...

For those of you who have never stepped on a freshly oiled bowling lane past the foul line... once you take that first step, it's over. More slick than ice or an over-greased Italian mobster. So, think back to the Charlie Brown Christmas Special when Peppermint Patty pulls the ball out from Charlie Brown. Now imagine me as CB only on a bowling lane flying up in the air and landing on my side.

Hi-fuckin-larious. The guy dispensing the bacteria infested shoes gave me an 8/10 on my landing. Clutch. But like a true olympian, I fought through the pain and finished both games. Today however, I only got 2 mins into my run before I thought I was going to cough up blood. I have a whole new respect for football players.

Also this year I got sit through two of those cheesy "happy birthday" song things at restaurants where they give you a free scoop of ice cream in return for public humiliation. At Kabuto I had to stand up for 3 mins and flap my arms like a chicken while they sung a Japanese birthday song. In the words of Sergeant Roger Murtaugh, "I'm getting too old for this shit..."

Yesterday it was 75 outside. Today I woke up in Stokesdale and there was snow on the ground and it looked like a goddamn blizzard outside. What the hell is going on with this global warming stuff anyway? Tonight... more Mexican food and lots of cerveza with the sis. I actually drank a 44 oz beer at El Rodeo, clutch.

This week has been balls out. Despite the some uncontrollable events, I'm havin a fuckin blast. Ten days to go, I might just goddamn make it. Who woulda thought? Fuckin eh.