Organized Crime in McDonaldland

Ever since they locked up the Hamburglar a few years back and the Grimace got busted for illegal dairy trafficing, the mob boss for the McDonald organized crime family has been stepping it up and taking the old turf war back to the streets. Down in the trenches battling it out one burger joint to another. And it appears the days of this brutal conflict may be coming to an end.

Yes, authorities nabbed Ronald while stealing money from a cash register at Wendy's. Jon Lusk alerted me to this breaking story.

Perhaps with the arrest of the McDonald's don this bloody turf war can finally come to an end, and the golden age of burger and fries prosperity will rise again.

Fake Xmas trees are for Bio-terrorists

Long time, no rantings. Not that there haven't been things worth posting, I've just been busy with other more important stuff in life. Yes... as impossible as that may sound, more important than Irrational Exuberance!

However, I did happen across this article on cnn.com today that I just had to share. Evidently this whole bird flu pandemic paranoia has gotten out of control to the point wherein countries all over the world are stocking up on the drug "tamiflu" in anticipation of widespread suffering and devistation. This is of course completely justified... can you imagine the atrocity of millions of people with headaches and runny noses? Think of the demand strain this would put on the world supply of sudafed and tissues!! *Gasps in horror*

Anyway, the main ingredient in this drug is shikimic acid which happens to be found in the needles of spruce and fir trees, and a Canadian pharmaceutical company is rounding up old xmas trees to extract the acid.

At first glance this sounds completely abusurd... but upon futher investigation, this is COMPLETELY ABSURD. And why is it that Canada can't afford to purchase it's own trees, that it has to come down and ransack our old xmas trees from off the curbs in the burbs? Isn't Canada just one gigantic pine forest anyway?

That's ok, America's Chrismas spirit to the rescue! You see? Rampant Christmas consumerism and gaudy excessive overdecorating have finally started to pay dividends. Once again America will bail out the rest of the world through lavishly wasteful culture. You're welcome world... again.