That's a wrap

This week marks the official end of my graduate education. Last week I took some time to stroll along that familiar trail from Franklin St to Polk Place, and it finally started to set in. I've lived in Chapel Hill for the better part of the last 5 years of my life, and in 3 weeks I'll leave the city and the University forever.

I'm not really upset to be leaving college. Granted, I had the time of my life here, met some very interesting people, learned a few things, and probably drank a little too much. I guess I'm just ready for that next step. Yeah, I'll miss the free time and the lack of "real life responsibilities" (although I currently have 3 jobs, car insurance, utilities and a mortgage so it probably won't be that much different), but I'm also tired of being broke.

And I'm tired of the south. I've spent nearly 23 years in this suburban-hell and I'm ready for a big city. Actually, I'm ready to travel the world.

Back in March I made a checklist of all the things I wanted to do before I leave Chapel Hill for good. Much to the detriment of my eating habits and general physique, I intend on fulfilling that list in the remaining 3 weeks I have here. I guess that's the most important thing when moving onto a new phase of life: leaving with no regrets.

So what's on my agenda once I've collected my various degrees and put UNC in the rearview mirror? Well, here is my time table for the next few months, culminating with a triumphant return to New York and the official reinstatement of this blog in the city which bore it.

May 1-8: Final Exams for the MAC program
May 11: Commencement
May 12: Move out of our townhouse in Hillsborough and finish preparing it for sale.
May 15-31: Trip to Japan (Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka)
June 2-13: Trip to Maui
June 15-?: Potential cruise to the Bahamas
July 1: CPA Exam part 1 & 2
July 8: The Baron's wedding (assuming I'm invited)
July 22: CPA Exam part 3
August 5/12: CPA Exam part 4
August 14-September 8: Road trip out west
September 9-30: Bumming around NC/Fla
October 1-4: Apartment hunting in NYC
October 7-8: Move to NYC
October 23: Offical start date

So basically the central themes of the summer are: trips, CPA exam, bumming around NC with Ward and some fellow UNC alums, and preparing to move to NY.

Paradis and Ward also want to try and factor in a trip to Vegas before the fall rolls around.
Financially I probably can't afford another trip to Vegas right now... but that's never a reason for not going.

Disney's new socio-political agenda

It's good to see Disney World getting back to what it does best: murdering people. Sure enriching the hopes, dreams and imaginations of young children has merit... but so does population control. And I argue that Disney's new focus is both ingenious and incredibly socially responsible.

You can see this current theme universally throughout their amusement park renovations over the past few years. Newest Rides: Speed Test Track at Epcot, Aerosmith coaster, and "Mission: Space." Attractions that have bitten the dust: the gondolas from Tomorrow Land to Frontier land, the wheel of progress, and of course Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Now when you arrive at the park you better be committed to amusement. Hop on rides with a fierce determination and hang on like your life depends on it... because it will.

Personally I think Disney's new Darwinian approach to theme parks is good for society... overall it's a very well thought out plan of population stabilization for the future. Step 1: Lure in the masses with sugary snacks, thrilling rides, illegal immigrants dressed in animal costumes, and of course- balloons. Step 2: Herd them onto the population thinning machines... errr I mean rides. Step 3: Let the rides work their magic and watch as only the elite strongest members of society emerge from the exits, entertained and ready to procreate a new master race.

Now I know what some of you are thinking... this sounds a bit like Nazi Germany. But I urge you, don't be so hasty to judge. Did Nazi Germany have a ride with spinning tea cups? I submit that they did not. Anyplace with spinning tea cups obviously has the best interest of humanity in mind. How can it not? Exactly.

Now granted, things are getting off to a slow start. Since last summer, the parks have only managed to "thin out" two people. But I haven't lost faith. Implementing a widespread social policy agenda takes time. Achieving results in long-term population control starts slow at first- just ask the Chinese government.