Beauty and the Pimp

This weekend my mom and sis came up from Greensboro and met me in LaGuardia on my way back from Columbus. So as you can imagine after a week of 15+ hour work days and a weekend of entertaining I am quite exhausted. The good news is tonight I should get my first good night of sleep since moving to Manhattan as a result of a minor theft of a Millennium Hilton bath towel...

Allow me to explain. I live on the 16th floor of a building with 40 or so floors. All the rooms have window air conditioner units, and leaky ones at that. So whenever it rains or an A/C above me leaks, the drips come flying down at 9.8 meters/second and collide with the top of my metal air conditioning unit. This makes for a most unpleasant sound and can often result in headaches, migraines, loss of sleep, headaches, confusion or both. So I "permanently borrowed" a bath towel that I soaked and draped over the A/C to absorb the impact of the drips of water. Tonight we shall see how well my invention works.

But I digress. The weekend overall was pretty productive and I feel I gave them a pretty comprehensive tour of NYC for a 48 hr visit. Some of the highlights included Grimaldi's pizza, Junior's cheesecake, the Promenade, Central Park/Belvedere Castle, Chinese Donuts, WTC/WFC, Maloney & Porcelli's, Chinatown/Little Italy & a Broadway show. Which Broadway show you ask? The long running Beauty & the Beast of course.

However once the curtain rose I almost immediately noticed that something was amiss. Besides the usual tattered clothes and cape, the Beast character was sporting an enormous iced-out pimp chain around his oversized neck. And when I say pimp chain I mean PIMP chain to put the likes of Nelly to shame. Quite bluntly, this was no Mr. T starter kit. When the spotlights hit this bad boy it literally blinged up the entire theater with its undeniable pimpitude.

I would love to meet the costume production genius why decided that the accessory to really pull together the "beast ensemble" and achieve that look of years of anguish, despair and neglect was a 90 karat platinum iced pimp chain. Brilliant.

If only they allowed pictures I could show you dear reader(s) of what I speak. For the rest of the production I expected him to come out and say to Lumiere and Cogsworth, "settle down my babies, don't trip over this hoe. Don't you have no fear cuz I done pimped" and then hop in a lime green low-rider Cadillac and drive around beating up hookers with his cane. Now that's what I call a Tony winning script.

Tomorrow morning I am back in Columbus. Don't expect many blogs because they intentionally cap their outgoing internet bandwith at like 28k to keep employees from surfing the net. They also block access to any web-based email clients. And there are only like 4 cell towers in the entire city. Columbus: the blackhole of mass communications. or... Columbus: the epicenter of ass communications.

The Man Who Broke Delta...

The stock price plunged today after comments from the CEO that cost cutting measures weren't enough to stop the hemorrhaging of cash. This is in fact a cover story.

The real reason Delta's stock price plummeted was because of the public disclosure of Mike "the skypimp" Paradis' modus operandi. And who divulged that information you ask? Me baby, Me!

Onward and upward friends! Hoard those skymiles. Keep pimpin' my babies.

Did Columbus ever actually visit Columbus?

My sources say no.

So it's day two here. Only got a minute to update. I'm sitting in the "Fixed Asset War Room" as it has been dubbed, with 3 other CapEx'ers and 2 people from Deloitte Tax in Columbus.

The data... is in shambles. We've spent the last 24 hrs trying to reconcile their FAS across three years. This data is so bad it... couldn't even... punch its way out of a... paper bag... yes...

The corporate office is pretty cool. Lots of music and giant posters of half naked models on the wall. Very interesting culture here at the head office. Ok, back to access. Oh, and fyi: the most interesting thing to do in Columbus at night is order room service... and get dressed up in prom dresses and galavant in the halls. Or... so I've heard.

Columbus, OHhhhh...

In Columbus this week. It's slated to be 95 degrees there tomorrow which is hot, but I would much rather be in an office in Columbus in 95 degree heat than painting outside in Greensboro with a heat index of 110.

I discovered today that the Little Debbie Fig Newton knock-offs are no where near as good as the originals. I thought for a $3 cost difference per box it would be worth a try. Actually, the only reason I contemplated buying either of them was because I needed cash and therefore had to buy something at Kmart. I love using Kmart.

Flight leaves at 8:30 tomorrow morning, but I'm flying Delta. Too bad I don't have my Amex Platinum card yet... I could make good use of the Crown Room. Scotch at 8:30am? Don't mind if I do...

The Death of Prem Thomas

Prem is my buddy. The first couple weeks he was in the city we went on dinner excursions to various places in search of the best pizza in NY. He was the Sancho Panza to my Don Quixote. Alas Prem Thomas has disappeared. Now I am lonely in La Mancha.

I haven't heard from the man in at least 3 weeks. If you have any information pertaining to the whereabouts of Prem, please inform your local authorities.

We love the sub

It wasn't until this afternoon that I came upon the realization that it's Quizno's Sub rather than Quizno's Subs.

I was always under the impression that they served more than one.

Return to Baby Bo's

The best burrito place in the city. For $8.25 you get chips w/ pico de gallo, black bean soup, and a two pound burrito. A burrito to big to attempt to pick up... that's what I'm talking about.

So since I now live on 34th street and it's located a mere 7 crosstown blocks away I decided to take a hiatus from work this afternoon and head over there. I really like that place in general. It's not just the fact that they have dynamite food. It is a cantina in every sense of the word, with a bar with the same amount of seating as the rest of the "dining area."

They play great music, and the decorations consist of mostly painted brick walls, several thousand colored christmas lights and a collection of interesting antique crosses. It's got a great chill atmosphere and the barkeeps are really cool. If you are in NY, check it out. It is definitely the type of place that I could go in at 6, get a great meal, and then just stay camped out at the bar chillin for the rest of the evening.

Man... now I wanna go back.

Movin to Manhattan

As of tonight I am officially moved into the New Yorker on 34th street in Manhattan. In an earlier blog I eluded to moving out of Brooklyn and it has come to fruition. Essentially what happened was that the place I was staying at was undergoing major renovations and so critical things like water and a/c were not available for extended periods of time. So finally I just got fed up and made a call to the VP of accounting for the company that owns these properties and demanded a refund.

A bit of advice if you are ever thinking of forming a company that operates residential rental property: never put the phone numbers of your executives on your website. Otherwise an angry tenant might find said numbers, call you up, demand a refund and threaten litigation. And you might be forced to concede to his demands rather than risk him going public and getting all the other tenants to form a class action suit.

So yeah, they gave me some money back and moved me to 34th street and 8th ave. This building is much nicer and is actually the one I originally wanted to stay in but it was a little too pricey from the start. But now they are basically paying me to stay here for the last 3 weeks. Funny how things work out sometime. With this and all the skymiles plotting I am experiencing a Paradis-esque run of fortune. And I'm lovin the ride.

On a side note, most people are unaware of how difficult it is to carry a 65lb duffel bag 3 blocks north and 1 crosstown block west without a shoulder strap. Needless to say after 4hrs of moving stuff via subway I am tired.

When I get back from NY I'll try and find some time to post pictures from this summer to my brutally stale website. One interesting feature about this room is that I have no towel rack in the bathroom, but in it's place I do have... a wall mounted beer bottle opener. So instead of reaching for a towel to dry off with after a shower, I'll be reaching for a beer to kick back with while I air-dry.

Mike Paradis is a skypimp

Anyone (and allow me to add extra emphasis to "one") who reads this blog probably already knows that Mike Paradis owns the sky. In particular he makes it a personal hobby to vanquish Delta of its profit margin (or in many years double its losses). This has prompted me to one day author the book "Mike Paradis: The Man Who Broke Delta." With the combination of Crown Room access, frequent flyer miles and medallion miles, he extorts this company basically to the point where they pay him to fly. What he does is completely legal but it feels like a scam. Maybe that's why I want in...

Step 1: Get skymiles account & amex platinum card
Step 2: Get amex skymiles gold card
Step 3: Purchase double connecting 1 night round trip to New Orleans during double miles months on the skymiles gold card.
Step 4: Check-in online, print out boarding pass and proceed straight to security
Step 5: Enjoy free access to food, drinks, and high-speed internet in the Crown Room courtesy of the Amex Platinum Card
Step 6: (Once you get status from your miles) Enjoy free upgrades to first class and free drinks on the plane during your miles runs.

A few "miles runs" per year and you achieve gold/platinum status in no time. Hopefully we can orchestrate an appropriate weekend/weekday to go this fall. Too bad he will be in first class on every flight while I park my newcomer rear in coach. But what did you expect? He's a skypimp.

The Detroit Tard Cart

Detroit felt it needed a mass transit system so it implemented this monorail/tram/whatever you want to call it thing that rides about 30 feet above the streets. The only problem is it only goes in an 8 or so block loop around this one section of downtown and it's a whopping 2 car train. There are no more than 6 stops, and anywhere it can take you is easily within walking distance. Oh, and it costs to ride it. I saw about 10-15 trams go by during lunch today and not a single one was carrying a person. Nice work.

Detroit: home of the painfully useless tard cart tram.

Towel Man & the Indomitable Pizza

So I am staying in the Westin this week in Detroit, and the one thing I love about hotels is that no matter the amount of guests per room there are always at least 2 towels of each variety. The Westin is particularly generous, providing 3 regular towels, 3 hand towels, 1 oddly shaped towel with an embroidered insignia, and a bathrobe made out of a towel. So my goal for each day before I leave for work is to use every single towel and then pile them all on the floor. Why? Because everyday I provide the housekeeper with a feeling of amazement and wonder at how one person can use so many towels in less than 24 hrs.

Tonight (since we worked till 12:30am) we ordered pizza from this place that makes Chicago style pies. Much to my delight, they actually knew how to make the pizza correctly and it was quite tasty if I may say so. The only downfall was that the partner-in-charge wanted to get the Meat Pizza and it was a veritable mountain of meat. Way to heavy and greasy to eat more than 2 pieces. If I am ever in Detroit again, I will try that place but with the classic pepperoni & sausage combo only. Next time Gadget... next time...

Pita Explosion

The partner-in-charge ordered lunch in today from this pita place around the block. Only he ordered the "pita for 12" platter and there are 5 of us here. So there is literally a mountain of leftover pitas sitting on the conference room table. A veritable pita explosion if you will.

Speaking of explosions, I am reminded of the time when the oven at Burger King in Lenoir blew up and spat flaming grilled chicken breasts out onto the floor. Watching the grill employee leap over the counter in fear was one of the greatest moments of 2001.

Which in turn reminds me of the "you want some chicken" guy at Top-of-Lenoir. He certainly was crazy... and... most likely homeless.

Blogging under the radar

It's been a long day so far and it shows no signs of remittance soon. The ADM team is facing a deliverable due date middle of next week and have guaranteed to work me until 12-1am every night. Promises promises...

They gave me two assignments today that were supposed to take me until sometime Wednesday. I finished them an hour ago. Keep in mind I didn't even get in the office until after 1pm because my 7:30 am flight was cancelled. Oh yeah, and let me tell you, there is nothing more exciting than "getting up" at 4:30am after only 2 hrs of sleep because the fire alarm was "malfunctioning" every 10 minutes from 1am-3:30am. And I checked my email before I left to make sure there were no delays/problems/etc, I should be aware of before I got to the airport.

Evidently somewhere during the cab ride between Brooklyn and LGA they cancelled my flight and I got bumped to the 11. Thankfully I had the laptop with me and my CDs, but the time would have really flown by if I could have connected to the wireless network (I got an IP, but couldn't connect to the DNS server.)

But upon finally arriving, the Detroit Midfield Terminal is very nice. There is an indoor tram that runs above the concourse inside the building. Very modern... The rest of Detroit should be ashamed. On a much lighter note, Edmond promised that we would drive by 8 mile road on our way to the Westin tonight. You know what I'm looking forward to the most about this trip? Sleeping on a king-size pillowtop bed. Oh baby.

Traveling Man

This week I will be working in Detroit until Thursday at a client site so I may or may not be posting until Friday. It will most likely depend on how much stuff they assign me to do as well as the average amount of time the senior manager and partner-in-charge are in my general vacinity. I'm sorry to devastate all of my loyal reader(s) in such a manner, but it cannot be helped.

The main reason I wanted a road trip is to sleep in a nice bed and get all of my meals paid for a week. NY is expensive and my bed is small and uncomfortable. So be brave and Godspeed You Black Emperor!

Return to Di Fara

In a previous post I went into great detail describing Di Fara pizza out in Midwood, Brooklyn. Well, being that this is my last weekend in Brooklyn (I will devulge more detail on this issue in a later post), I decided to pay one more homage to the Leonardo Da Vinci of pizza. Once again the food was phenominal, and I remembered to bring my camera and take a few pictures in the event that any of my dear reader(s) are in Brooklyn and in the mood for pizza.


Di Fara Pizza on Avenue J

Chef Dominique DeMarco honing his craft

Kmart's new ATM business

In a city where nothing is free and ATM withdrawl charges can run as high as 10%, achieving a high degree of cash liquidity is quite the dubious task. Which is why I am especially proud to say that I haven't paid a single doallr in ATM fees for the duration of my stay in NY. How have I managed this you ask?

By turning Kmart into my personal ATM. One of the greatest aspects of a debit card is the ability to get cash back free of charge at mechants who agree to such policy. Since most retailers in NY are relatively small, they usually prohibit this feature as a protective measure for their cash droors. However, if one searches hard enough, it is easy to find a bloated cash cow more than eager to fork out greenbacks straight from your debit card.

Moooo. Kmart is that bloated cash cow. Four times now have I gone into Kmart and purchased a <$1.00 item (pack of gum, tic tacs, etc) and withdrawn the maximum allowance of cash. Not only does Kmart play a low end second fiddle as a dicount retailer, they are by far the least profitable ATM operating company in the world.

My blog cowers in fear beneath...

...THE BLOGDOM OF GOD!!! Because in today's society praying is just way too square. Everyone knows that God is a hipster, and if you wanna be down with G.O.D. you better know how to blog.

Whatever happened to just going to service/mass/temple and helping old people on the weekends? The rules are changing. May God have mercy on the souls with no internet.

The Phantom Printer

One of the neat things about most large office buildings is the concept of network printing. By simply jumping on the network you can print from a variety of machines within your vicinity. Simple, effective, cost efficient. Here at Deloitte we pride ourselves on a very sophisticated printer network that has it's own domain space on the intranet. The main feature is a virtual "floor map" for every office that identifies where printers are located and allows you to simply click the icon, automatically download the drivers, and print away.

The system is so state-of-the-art that when on the Deloitte backbone network you can print to any printer in any office anywhere in the US (and India for outsourcing). The only drawback to this that once you download a driver it sets that printer as your default printer until you manually change it or download the drivers for a different printer. So needless to say, from time to time this creates what I like to call a "print job wormhole." Unsuspecting documents "disappear" -accidentally directed by their unknowing authors to remote print locations across the country. This is especially prevalent for groups like audit or CTS that travel from office to office around the nation.

So sitting in the office from time to time the printer near me will fire up, and no one will ever come to claim those poor documents. They will sit on the printer indefinitely, or at least until the night janitor makes his rounds with the wastebasket. Just another day in the office... the Phantom Printer has struck again.

Bamboozled!

A quick musical recommendation if I could. Barry Adamson - Oedipus Shmoedipus. Great sounding well rounded album with a variety of styles from big band swing to house. It plays like bits and pieces of soundtracks to familiar movies you swear you've seen but actually don't exist. Big Bamboozle is my favorite track, however Miles is really good too. Times like this I miss rhapsody.

It's HUGE!

This is by far the most ridiculously complex pdf file I have ever seen... which spurs me to initiate a challenge for all of my blog reader(s) to find a larger/more complex pdf. And by that I don't mean more pages (any annual report would suffice there), but a 1 page pdf file with more "stuff" jam-packed into it. So have at ye web-savvy patrons. Reel me in a big one!

Up up and... awww

Like a broken prophylactic, a faulty fuel sensor has forced a pull out. Personally I was really hoping for a shuttle launch because it's high time to get our vastly over-budgeted space program up there doing something productive. Actually, with the global hesitancy to commit to a long term environmental protection and conservation policy, the future of this planet truly does like with the stars. Maybe it's the sci-fi fan in me but I would love to see a Mars landing before I get too old to appreciate it. If the Cap'n can make it happ'n, why cant NASA?

Red rocks, yea yea!

A recap of Di Fara and its greatness

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to eat at arguably the best pizza place in New York: Di Fara. Much as Zagat claims, there truly is "genius at work" at this small Avenue J cornerstore pizzeria. Very much out of the way for the casual NYC tourist pizza-goer, Di Fara is located in the heart of Brooklyn and requires a 15 min train ride from my place in Brooklyn Heights alone, far off the beaten path of the average Manhattanite.

Stepping off the Q train it is at first difficult to locate this landmark as it virtually blends in completely with the surrounding drug stores and shops. It looks more run-down than your average NY pizzeria on the outside, and the 5 table restaurant interior is equally unimpressive. However, the line of people out the door, even at odd times such as 3:30pm, will quickly clue you in to its location.

The reason for the constant line? That would be chef/owner/operator Dominique, who save for his son who helps by chopping fresh ingredients in the back and preparing the sauce, is the sole employee of the store. A true artist in his own right, Dominique pays no mind to the crowd of customers at the counter as he patiently and deliberately prepares each pie. There is no system of ordering, paying, etc. You tell him what you want (along with about 3 other people) and he remembers it all in his head and makes your pie as he gets to it. Don't be mistaken in interpreting this as rude behavior- Dominique is an incredibly kind man who through patience and deliberation refuses to be rushed.

In my opinion the man is a living legend, a dinosaur from an era of pizza making long since extinct. He somehow manages to remember all the orders, manage two windows, collect all the cash and still have the frame of mind to squeeze in pies for single slice orders all at a methodically slow pace. In comparison, Grimaldi's (the pizza runner up in my mind) can't even manage slices with a staff of over 10 per night.

He uses only the freshest (hand cut) toppings and grates out real mozzarella fresh from the bucket right onto the pizza. Everything is handmade and the coal fired oven cooks the pies to perfection. Forget Lombardi's, Grimaldi's, Patsy's or even Famous Ray's. You will not find a better pizza in NY than Dominique's little pie shop in Brooklyn. Di Fara gets the lone A+.

In light of recent findings...

...please do not use anything in this blog to harm or depreciate my otherwise stellar reputation. Actually that shouldn't be a problem as I promise to never post any pertinent or useful information on this blog, and will make a strong commitment to making it as tepid and unentertaining as possible. But seriously though, who blogs about how uncomfortable their panty hose are?

Speaking of sequels...

Is it just me or does this seem like Jumanji in Space?

Another great Hollywood idea...

Not quite as great as Disney's proposal to remake Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs into a live action martial arts movie in China with shaolin monks replacing the dwarfs and using the fight choreographers from The Matrix... but this definitely has merit.

Gladiator 2

Personally I think they should do a Weekend at Bernie's 3... do Hollywood a favor and boycott terrible screenwritting. Multi-million dollar box office failures usually send the message.

No Sale!

In my excitement over seeing James Pollack with a huge chip stack in the WSOP main event, and my haste to finish up some paperwork before a conference call today, I completely forgot to order my Jos. A Bank two button olive suit trio.

For those unfamiliar with Jos. A Bank: they are a men's clothier who sell good suits at resonable prices, however the characteristic element of this company is their constant "clearance sales" which run 50-70% off the majority of items in their stock. Most online clothiers have similar clearance sales, but unlike say Brooks Brothers, who's great sales are usually quarterly or semi-annually, Jos. A Bank runs some sort of clearance sale nearly every week.

What made this particular sale special was there were offering an additional 20% off clearance items, making a complete suit with an extra pair of matching trousers (the trio) a whopping $159.99, which regularly "retails" at $495. But alas, even in the wake of my bitter dissapointment (and the end of the sale) they started a new sale today and the same item is still only a remarkably low $299. Which essentially tells me one thing... the actual retail price for that trio suit is $299.

What the... I know that guy!!

Welcome to stardom James Pollack. Like me, on May 15 you were standing in the endzone of Kenan Stadium a proud graduate of UNC and the Kenan-Flagler Business School. Unlike me, two months later you are second in chips at the World Series of Poker playing for $7.5 million dollars. Meanwhile I am sweating my ass off riding the subway in Manhattan during the middle of the summer to work as a tax consultant next to a giant hole in the ground.

Congratulations James Pollack, you have arrived. I remember seeing you play at Goldie's in Chapel Hill, and soon I will see you on TV. Now, you have truly humbled me. While I was studying for financial reporting or environmental politics, you were honing your poker skills. Now, in the wake of your most glorious moment, I submit my most hearty congratulations to you. I hope to see you in the future and shake your hand as one KFBS grad to the next, and then... ask to borrow $10,000.

Dimitri from Paris

This guy has a phenominal sound. It's sort of old school Parisian cafe plus techno house fusion. Very different, yet very amazing. He has quite the following and I wish I could get the CD's here but it would cost me $30 per import from the UK. The CD's are also available in Japan, and this is the most insane CD cover I have ever seen. The Japanese love big robots.


Sacrebleu (Japanese Bonus CD)

CNN has evidently never been to Durham...

...or they wouldn't have rated it the 90th best place to live in the US. It's doubtful that Durham would even qualify as the 90th best place to live in the State.

Have you tried living in Durham? Seriously. Tell people you dont like to drive around there at night.

The Crushinator

Ok, yes, I am posting a ridiculous amount of blogs my first day. Don't expect this trend to continue. Jay Paradis is the only man with the fortitude, determination, and courage to throw down multiple posts every day unwaveringly.

So the reason for this post is that I just thought of something really funny last night that I probably shouldn't have laughed at. I was getting in the elevator in my building to go up to the 5th floor, and as the doors were closing they shorted out for a second and jumped back open. In the brief ensuing 10 seconds before they closed again a girl coming in the front door thought it would be a great idea to try and stop the elevator and jump on before the doors closed. So she sticks out her arm into the pathway of the closing door.

Only problem is: in her hand is a pizza box evidently containing her dinner. Mr. Elevator was most displeased with her lack of respect for his schedule and promptly smashed the box in the door. The most hilarious thing was that the door was moving incredibly slow and even after it hit the box and had it pinned between the frame and door itself, it kept closing and crushing the box/pizza all the way until the door closed.

So the girl lets out a cry of protest and one of the people on the elevator mashes the open button, but alas the pizza was lost. Meanwhile I am standing in the back of the elevator trying not to laugh- but much like the girl's hope of a tasty treat it was to no avail. Later I felt bad for laughing at her... but it was really really funny. And like the days of yore, this fable teaches us not to stick our dinner in the path of a closing elevator door.

Pop goes the soda

So over the past few months I have been searching for a particular brand of pop (soda for you southerners) that was only made in Pittsburgh. It goes by the name of "Tom Tucker Southern Style Mint Ginger Ale" and I practically grew up on the stuff. However, it has been virtually impossibly to locate even online at specialty grocery stores. This of course leads me to believe that it may no longer be available- the last time I saw it in stores was in Pittsburgh in 1999.

And this has consequently lead me to consider the possibility of taking a trip to Pittsburgh, locating the owner of the bottling company (or the remains thereof) and offering to purchase the formula and the rights to distribution. Yes my friend(s) I am seriously considering entering the soda business. Normally even I would consider this a foolhardy idea, however once you get just a taste of this drink you will forever be slave to it's intoxicating flavor.

And from a business standpoint if I could open it up to even a few new markets and keep it afloat for a few years, I could almost certainly sell it to a big distributor like Coke or Pepsi for a large stack of cash. Not only would this get me out of the beverage business quickly, but I would accomplish my original goal of seeing the widespread return of Tom Tucker Mint Ginger Ale.

If you do know anything about the whereabouts of this delightful beverage please contact me asap. A reward may be available, subject of course to whether or not I like your face. Despite my overall fruitless searching I did manage to find this which may give you intrepid googlers something to go on. Cheers!

Wrestling with demons

For the past half hour I have been trying to resist the urge to manually customize this blog template on the grounds that this is infact... a blog. It is my nature to compulsively change the formatting to get it just right, and often spend too much time doing so.

I will fight OCD and I will win. Just for you dear reader(s).

And speaking of blog. I am not a fan of that name. Obviously I am not creative enough to think of a better description, so blog will have to suffice. But just know that "blog" and I are at odds.

Welcome to Irrational Exuberance!

So in response to great bloggers such as Mike Paradis and his dad, and in reaction to the utter death of my journal and website hosted on the UNC webspace, I have decided to create this blog for the rest of the summer, through the fall, to infinity and possibly beyond.

So it's about 5pm here at the WFC, and weather.com says it's a brisk 94 degrees outside. This of course thereby relegates the subways to somewhere between a nippy 110 and a frosty 120. Boy I can't wait to get off work.

In other news I have found the best burrito and the best pizza within the city of New York, and did so all in the same weekend. Beat that Zagat. Before I go I would just like to also say at the outset of this blog that I in no way hope to put together any type of witty, coherent, or otherwise enjoyably readable blog. In fact I can almost guarantee disappointment. That being said... have courage dear reader(s).